Describe your self as a teammate: I'm slightly overweight, balding, and over 40. That said, I'm the first person to talk smack while my opponent is teeing off and I'd like to believe I'm the best at giving my teammates an ass smack after nailing a putt.

Sexiest Trait: My ability and willingness to drink boiling hot fireball from a gatorade water bottle.

Dream (golf) Foursome: Bill Murray, John Daly, Chris Farley, and Me.

Coolest Sports Achievement: A. Catching the last out to win the Redmond Men's Softball League Championship and then retiring to Cleveland (also the last time the team has won the league, but who's keeping track).

B. Zach and I running train on Weitz and BJ in the 2018 Hops. It was over after 12 holes.

Clutch Rating (1-10): 0-3 beers: 7.5, 4-10 beers: 9.5, 10+ beers mixed with fireball: 5

A or M: A, I don't smile like a cheerio

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